They're Closer Than You Think!

A trip to the American Museum of Natural History proved to be a scientific breakthrough! We finally gathered evidence to prove that our students are closer than we think to Neanderthals.

For the 7th graders who attended the trip, it sure was an eye-opening experience. It was the first time where they saw their closest relative (from only a generation ago!) on display. The resemblance was so remarkable, they even started posing next to the displays similar to the way we take our family portraits! However, some couldn't control their hormone rush and started tickling the poor Neanderthal, in rather inappropriate ways. To embarrass themselves even more, they critiqued the size of the Neanderthal penis.

Our Historians...
Question: How did the English Bill of Rights affect the colonists in America?
Answer: NO!

Question: Who was the first to settle in Pennsylvania?
Answer: Count Dracula!

Our efforts to have a Can Food Drive at our school:
"You mean we have to bring in a FULL can of food?!"

On our lesson on Metamorphic Rocks...
I love it when the kids start rapping with the science terminology:
"Gneiss is pronounced like Ms. Weiss." Then starts break-dancing on the floor.

Open House...
At the Herpetology Lab:
Teacher: Every animal bites. Even your dog will bite. This snake will bite too.
Parent: I don't bite!
Now we know why we got suck geniuses coming into our school.

The principal forgot that we also have a self-study Magnet Program called Slut-Making. The first lesson included the following skills:
1. Walking like a Slut.
2. Showing butt-crack.
3. Moving big ass.

Blood Drive
So blood drive will take place at our school. I guess our principal knows that we do have "the best bloodlines in Brooklyn"