Research Proposals

Perhaps this is one of those days when you really have the urge to toss a kid out the window (learning from Ms. Muffintop). Here are some research questions that I, as a scientist, want to explore:

1) What chemical imbalances in the brain would lead a child to dump in cups of dirt into a fish tank with live fish?

2) What chemical imbalances in the brain would lead an administrator to expect general ed. teachers to have scantron forms for the upcoming practice grade-wide standardized exam?

3) How many times does a teacher need to repeat the same direction to "open your notebook" in the first 10 minutes of class to have students follow that direction?

4) A comparison of attention span between a student at I.S. ____ and Mike, the orangutan, at the local zoo.

5) A comparison of self-control between students at I.S. ____ and a family of orangutans at the local zoo.

On students pursuing position in the oval office in student government:
An introductory speech by one candidate: "I...I...I...like to party!"

Something else to think about...
"You wanna know what I did to my class notes? I SMOKED THEM!"

High School Applications

So far October proved to be the month for Lona:

After being told to put away their HS applications in 5 seconds, Lona still had it on her desk. Enthusiatic about her zone school, she tells all her friends across the room, "Abraham Lincoln is my first choice." Ms. Jillian could not hold back, "Make sure you put I.S.____ as your first choice too cuz you're not going anywhere if you don't pass this class. Now put it away."
Lona obeyed for the first time in two years.

While explaining the symbol for depression (area of land below ground level) on a topographic map and using a crater as an example of a depression, Lona looked at another student and made the following comment: "Your face looks like crater."

Lona recruited another member, "Your mother belongs in Special Ed."

Refusal to Learn

Thought I would do something good and bought a Chinese/English dictionary for my Chinese ELL students. Here's my lesson on Good vs. Bad Science Fair Questions that went down the drain:

An example of a bad science fair question would be "What is mold?" Now where can we find the answer to this word "mold"? In the dictionary! So I handed the Chinese dictionary to the Chinese kid who did not know English, hoping that he would find the translation to the word "mold" in Chinese. However, he pushed the book away. I placed the book on his table, he pushed to the corner of his desk without flipping one page of the damn book. Now tell me how the hell am I suppose to help these kids?!

Take a wild guess of who made this statement: "SHUT UP, Gorilla!"

Thank goodness for the smartboard: "I'll shut up if you use the green marker" said one student.

Somebody also said something about sucking somebody's sister's dick...hmm....seems like we gotta review the parts of the female reproductive system.

Classic Jack: "Why are you always on my grill?!"